Routine

Fresh, lovely morning in a city that is never quiet. The workers silently marching down the streets, going in all directions. They are like in automatic pilot, moving thoughtless towards the place they must be. I feel that I'm turning into one of them but I refuse to become a robot so I continuing fighting against the daily routine. A routine that eventually would change me into a emotionless creature.

I am having crazy thoughts and there is no one to persuede me to think otherwise, I'm so lonely in a enormous city that looks down on me, graceless unworthy and tiny stain on the paivement. Am I overreacting?  Perhaps but even a crazy person bases his/her insanity in a small fact.

I took a picture of a lady in the tram, she had some crazy burned hair and she looked so disturbed. I felt sorry for her but my morbid mind pushed me to take this picture. I sincerely hope, she finds help, I'm sure being elderly is not easy.

Report of the week:

Negative stuff: Still no one sits next to me in the train, still no friends made.

Positive: I saw beautiful buildings & clothes, and some swedish boys(and a girl) drinking champagne at the station, they were super perfect(no so much in the face though) I would have loved to take pictures of them because they wearing the Swedish flag as a cape.

Train zombies

The feeling of being alone in the universe is even bigger in the train. I travel long distances and spend daily one hour and a half in the train where everyone is plugged to an eyephone, a book/newspaper, or just simply listening music. No one makes eye contact and certainly do not talk with those strangers they see everyday. They are train zombies and I live daily with them. I observe them and most of the time they don't notice it. I feel so lonely without anyone to talk or just hang out with, I can't sleep in motion -I so much envy the ones that can- and listening music just gets to my nerves after 30 minutes. Reading is awesome but I need peace for it.

I started to draw people but after old man gave me some evil looks, I stopped. By the way the old man still looks at me everytime our path cross, he hated to be drawn.

There is Mr. Tielen as well, he seems nice and so far is the only person who smiles back. I imagine him living in a white house with a wife,three kids and a dog(don't ask why). Sometimes I think, he smiles back because he thinks I'm a sort of mentally challenged person but I hold on to think that's he is still human

Lately, I have pushed myself to use my time in the train to improve some skill or learn something new. I started with origami, I can make the crane, a box and a star open box. The lily flower is so hard but I have time to make it eventually. I still do not know what challenge, I'll set myself for next week but let's hope I find something soon because a crying adult woman singing "all by myself" in the train is not cute.

An unique place to be

The City Hall and the center of the old town seen from the Mont des Arts.

Brussels is a wonderful city full of monuments and exciting cultural life. It's amanzing to see pieces of history in nearly every corner mixed with modern new architecture. I feel so inspired there thought I feel that I am more alone than ever, perhaps it's the language(supersonic French) or the hectic life or perhaps it's just me alienating myself.

I love the fact that you can tied a monkey in your head, wear it as a hat and no one will look at you for a second. The fact that everyone is completly and ultimatly into their own worlds. I draw people in my way and back from Brussels, mainly in the trein  and I found out that's not that easy, after a week and a half, I've been caught once by someone  who woke up suddenly and our eyes met. It was embarrassing but I smiled and go on like nothing. It is so cool to see people in terms of lines and shapes, everything else fades like beauty,age, gender,ect. I was always looking for beauty but now as beauty has denied me, I just look for willing subjects for my art.

I always walk the beautiful Mont de Arts down to the trein station, frecuently, there's  music and tourist photographing frenetically for a perfect picture. I feel that I'm not only discovering a city but little by little I'm discovering a new phase on my life.