Brussels smell

Monday morning so glorious, so new as everything start and continue. People look more tired than on Friday´s morning and I can not help to feel a bit like them. I used to love the Central Station because it was like my entrance to the city of drama and beauty( as I see Brussels). Today was different, I could smell the disgusting urine from the fifth step on the exit´s stairs and it continued to way up at Kunstberg/Mont d´art.

So my day at this wonderful, magical city started smelly and pathetic. I can only say that perhaps the Brussels´ Summer Festival had something to do with such a bad welcome to the hard working crowd.

I can not help to wonder if bad starts also mean bad endings like associated things that are intended to be as they started bad. Some many of my projects started bad or really slow eventually did not go anywhere of the outcome was lame but other projects that started wonderfully ended up quite nicely. My doubt is on: is it bad and great completly just related to our state of mind at certain moment?

Well, positive thinking is totally based on that. Let´s be positive then.

A brighter side

A nice view of Brussels.

This past week has been even more than before a flash of time. I fell on the stairs on  Central station and it was quite embarrassing but a lady asked me if I was allright, it made me believe that not everyone is so cold and detached from others as I have been shown before. I have a big bruise.
I feel that, there is a black hole in my brain devouring my knowledge and everyday,I wake up to realize that I have forgotten important things like names, messages for other people,ect. The black hole only eats what I would like to keep and leave things that I would love to forget intact.
I hope this week will be full of excitement and I could actually paint of draw something meaningful.

Report of the week:
Positive: I think, I made a friend for a short traject of 10 to 15 minutes in the bus, I started to talk with a girl and she's a very nice, receptive person.
Negative: lonelyness sometimes get me all emotional. I can not focus for more than 15 minutes in a book in the trein.

Routine

Fresh, lovely morning in a city that is never quiet. The workers silently marching down the streets, going in all directions. They are like in automatic pilot, moving thoughtless towards the place they must be. I feel that I'm turning into one of them but I refuse to become a robot so I continuing fighting against the daily routine. A routine that eventually would change me into a emotionless creature.

I am having crazy thoughts and there is no one to persuede me to think otherwise, I'm so lonely in a enormous city that looks down on me, graceless unworthy and tiny stain on the paivement. Am I overreacting?  Perhaps but even a crazy person bases his/her insanity in a small fact.

I took a picture of a lady in the tram, she had some crazy burned hair and she looked so disturbed. I felt sorry for her but my morbid mind pushed me to take this picture. I sincerely hope, she finds help, I'm sure being elderly is not easy.

Report of the week:

Negative stuff: Still no one sits next to me in the train, still no friends made.

Positive: I saw beautiful buildings & clothes, and some swedish boys(and a girl) drinking champagne at the station, they were super perfect(no so much in the face though) I would have loved to take pictures of them because they wearing the Swedish flag as a cape.

Train zombies

The feeling of being alone in the universe is even bigger in the train. I travel long distances and spend daily one hour and a half in the train where everyone is plugged to an eyephone, a book/newspaper, or just simply listening music. No one makes eye contact and certainly do not talk with those strangers they see everyday. They are train zombies and I live daily with them. I observe them and most of the time they don't notice it. I feel so lonely without anyone to talk or just hang out with, I can't sleep in motion -I so much envy the ones that can- and listening music just gets to my nerves after 30 minutes. Reading is awesome but I need peace for it.

I started to draw people but after old man gave me some evil looks, I stopped. By the way the old man still looks at me everytime our path cross, he hated to be drawn.

There is Mr. Tielen as well, he seems nice and so far is the only person who smiles back. I imagine him living in a white house with a wife,three kids and a dog(don't ask why). Sometimes I think, he smiles back because he thinks I'm a sort of mentally challenged person but I hold on to think that's he is still human

Lately, I have pushed myself to use my time in the train to improve some skill or learn something new. I started with origami, I can make the crane, a box and a star open box. The lily flower is so hard but I have time to make it eventually. I still do not know what challenge, I'll set myself for next week but let's hope I find something soon because a crying adult woman singing "all by myself" in the train is not cute.

An unique place to be

The City Hall and the center of the old town seen from the Mont des Arts.

Brussels is a wonderful city full of monuments and exciting cultural life. It's amanzing to see pieces of history in nearly every corner mixed with modern new architecture. I feel so inspired there thought I feel that I am more alone than ever, perhaps it's the language(supersonic French) or the hectic life or perhaps it's just me alienating myself.

I love the fact that you can tied a monkey in your head, wear it as a hat and no one will look at you for a second. The fact that everyone is completly and ultimatly into their own worlds. I draw people in my way and back from Brussels, mainly in the trein  and I found out that's not that easy, after a week and a half, I've been caught once by someone  who woke up suddenly and our eyes met. It was embarrassing but I smiled and go on like nothing. It is so cool to see people in terms of lines and shapes, everything else fades like beauty,age, gender,ect. I was always looking for beauty but now as beauty has denied me, I just look for willing subjects for my art.

I always walk the beautiful Mont de Arts down to the trein station, frecuently, there's  music and tourist photographing frenetically for a perfect picture. I feel that I'm not only discovering a city but little by little I'm discovering a new phase on my life.

A project that took too long

Last week, an amazing thing happened. The square infront of the Turnhout's Grote Markt kerk was re-opened after more than a year of being closed. Being closed for so long lead many small cafes of the area to disapear. The Grote Markt area now looks revitalized. I took some pictures of day the machinery left, thinking that another day, it would be sparking clean. I returned on Friday just to see that, it was crowded again with a fair and a huge stage that blocks the view of the other side of the street.

An empty space should be always fill? can we just enjoy the minimalism of Grote Markt & kerk? Apparently I can but the rest of the city refuses. I can not enjoy the beauty of the different arquitecture styles while waiting for the bus or walking around the area again. The view has being taken away by a huge black stage and several noisy fair's attractions.
I feel that a view forces me to look up and think. Discover new details on a city that many consider quite boring and plain

The forgotten manor

On high round windows, I can see the remains of the splendor of past years. The entire city has move on and this old manor frozen in time as an old clock. Everyone can see this decaying building so close to the Grote markt (city center). It's placed across the street one of the most emblematic buildings of Turnhout, the medieval castle and  a walking distance from the Begijnhof(béguinage).
I constantly wonder why it has being left behind to decay so openly. I can not avoid thinking that this wonderful building can be a gallery or literary cafe. Perhaps, I tend to look around and wonder about buildings' historical background too much. It's facinating even to imagine the life of people who used to live in those beautifully decorated manors that still are scattered around this city.
I think, I'd lost my bus too often lately and I had time to walk around the city as only a lone foreigner can. People do not even look at eachother in this city(perhaps it's everywhere) and it's hard to believe that they actually would take a second of their busy minds to start looking up to old buildings.